Soliloquy.

Make My Day.

Five months ago, I received a cute, folded piece of A4 paper with the words “SOMETHING SHORT & SWEET ” scrawled on top in black ink, right before I left for Penang for my public speaking nationals. I told my coach, Puan Magdalen that she didn’t need to worry about me. Because I had a ‘secret weapon’.

Five minutes before I went on stage to present my final impromptu speech, I took the letter out from my the warm confines of my pocket, and read it.

It said:

Just a short message Keefe

Good luck!

I believe in you.

And after this long, I’m sure you know how much I long to be watching you speak at national level, once again, twice in a row with that confidence and charm that makes you, you.

So picture me in the crowd, clapping, cheering, smiling, rooting you on!

I may be in Japan but my heart still lies in Malaysia, Damansara Jaya and my brother, Keefe, you. Do your best, promise me alright? You’ve got the whole world on your side (I’m enough to make the world Hehe <3

I’m probably missing you loads now :’( Already feel like crying a little.

Like the great words of John Lee “GO KICK ASS”!

Much love and pride,

Sophia.

(11/10/2009)

I’m not much of a believer in things like destiny and fate, but there are certain times in my life in which the order of events is so unexpected, so coincidental, so perfect that I cannot help but suspend my belief momentarily. This was one of those moments.

I unfolded the second piece of paper containing the title of my impromptu speech slowly.

The title of my impromptu speech was “Make My Day”.

*******

As practiced, my speech was carefully structured into three main points, as I spoke about the three things which I thought, made my day. The first was Laughter, the second was Optimism, and the third was Love- easily summarized into the internet slang phrase ,”LOL”. I spoke with confidence and speed (perhaps a little too much), as I highlighted the importance of all three things in our life, each one supported by suitable quotes, well practiced way before the competition. I spoke, feeling invincible.

And I lost.

*******

Tonight, as I reminisce in the midst of this silent night, I realize that I spoke about all the wrong things. I never actually connected with more than half of the things I was saying. Sure, I could wax lyrical about the importance of laughter, how optimism is key and how love makes the world go round. Although all of it made good, simple sense which everyone could understand, I never actually felt that speech. Looking back, if I could do it all again, I would chuck that regimented, structured speech right into the dustbin.

Now I realize, that what I should have done, was to walk up stage, and start talking about you, Sophia.

*******

You make my day everytime you greet me with a warm, cuddly hug and say “Love you Keefe!”.

You made my day when you remembered to get me keychains from Jogjakarta and Tokyo.

You make my day whenever you genuinely tell me something nice about myself, whether you’re speaking to me on the phone, in person, or on your blog.

You made my day when you wrote me a lengthy and touching Raya email even though I’m non-Muslim.

You make my day whenever you are my third speaker, and our thoughts match every single time (except when it comes to boys lah).

You make my day all the times you speak out for the underprivileged, and all the times you speak out for the forgotten, and the lonely, reminding me that there is still good in a cynical, selfish world.

And most of all, you make my day whenever you tell me that you want to be a better person, despite being the kind-hearted, optimistic, charming lady you already are.

If you don’t know, that amounts to so, so many days that you have made for me over the past 3 years I’ve known you. Consequently, you have shaped my life, by making want to be better, always. And I cannot help but feel so proud that on this day, my dear sister is actually going to be 17 years old. That describes how I currently feel the best, the word “proud”. The greatest joy an older brother can have is probably experienced when he watches his younger sister grow up, and when he also knows that she is going to be such a splendid sister, daughter, and friend; because she already is all of those things, when she continues to make so many days other than my own.

And that is why I cherish and love you so, so much. I find it incredible how we may be in different forms, different classes, and yet I feel that you know me better than so many of my friends.

It is, and truly has been, a great pleasure and an honour to know you, Sophia Aliza binti Jamal.

Happy 17th birthday. Love you.

(this is such a cute picture) /smile