I never find, if my eyes keep searching. However paradoxical it is, it is something which I have inevitably found to be true. Perhaps my insignificant, irrational mind cannot even comprehend a concept like that. But no matter. What we can do, is change. That’s what sets us apart, what gives us our pride. And that is yet one of the tiny lessons I must learn as I continue living, in my little search for happiness.

And today, I write about attraction.

One of the things that I’ve used to think is that an individual would be attractive, at least to a few, only if that person made it a goal to be attractive. 5 more minutes in front of the mirror would maybe, just maybe, earn you that second look as he or she passes by; wearing your glasses in that certain way, adjusting our pants THAT certain way. Our concept of the world is that it is a judgmental, merciless world; that the tiny, tiny things we did to our appearance would actually improve the world’s perception of us.

And so we get obsessed.

The little Dorian Gray hiding in the corner of our hearts stirs to motion, and the gaping flaws within our fallible conscience flares, announcing its presence, something we continuously delude ourselves on. Mr Insecurity comes into the room. He promises to make you well loved, well liked, and well respected. If only we knew what a big, fat liar that man is. But many of us still cannot help but fall for that trap. Uneducated mammals that many of us are, we get tempted. Our hunger, our desire easily murders our logic. And so Mr Logic dies a brutal death, with a sinister dictator taking his place. Individual continues to be deluded. We fear. We hunger. I stand firm, the fault is not ours.

But as time goes by, empirical evidence easily disproves this all. Education and experience easily erases our long held fear. We are liberated from the prison that we built around ourselves, and we are free. Free at last. The wave of change easily disposes of the useless, dictator we used to listen to. We start to have opinions, thoughts! And how wonderful that is! For we finally feel the strength. The strength, and the right to govern our own bodies, our own minds! Things which are, and will always be, rightfully ours! We feel confident, and we gradually find our identities, not from others, but within the crevices of our own souls.

The cold, dead soul flares with a brilliant flame,

The lifeless heart beats for the very first time,

And we are spurred into motion.

And just like an object, moving at a tremendous speed, we create this vacuum where we used to be. We have a slipstream. The faster we move, the larger it is. What we used to want comes easily. But the problem is, we don’t want it anymore.

But we keep moving anyway. And we shall find answers.


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