To tell you the truth, my friend, writing about my personal life (or just life in general) has never been something that came easy for me, for a couple of reasons:
Reason 1: I Feel Weird Writing About Myself.
Well, this is actually pretty ironic considering that those of you who know me in person actually know that I’m the sort who can go out and say really stupid / silly / childish / self-derogatory things just for the fun of it. But for some strange reason, blogging makes me feel really self-conscious about what I write, and consequently, what I think. The fact that blogposts can be reread over and over again by everyone (including myself), really makes me think twice about what I write. I practically forget everything I say in real life, so what i actually say doesn’t have much of a consequence on my conscience as opposed to what I write.
I’ve never really been the sort of person who could wake up and start thinking “hey, I bought a new T-shirt / new dog / new hamster last night, I’m going to blog about it! *typetypetype”. I’m probably not that sort of person, at any rate (but it doesn’t mean that I don’t read blogs like that. In fact, I really like reading blogs like that). Writing to me has always been something more formal and restrained than talking, and that’s probably the reason most of my longer blogposts are really incoherent and forced. Which isn’t good. At all.
Reason 2: I’m Easily Distracted.
I am probably the most easily distracted person around; most of you just don’t know it. 😉 I’m the sort of person who gets ideas and reminders while I’m halfway doing something, or about to start doing something really important / critical. My mind is exceptionally adept at worming its way out of unpleasant situations, which is a disastrous habit considering that most things which are ‘critical’ are more often than not, unpleasant in the short term.
Just like this blogpost! Writing about all this is more awkward for me than what most of you probably think. It’s like part of me is screaming “nonononono you stupid person what are you writing / stop this now and go brush your teeth / this is such a waste of time” but the rest of me is really waking up to the fact that I should really be more honest with myself and to the people around me.
One of the biggest problems I have is actually talking about what I feel. Whenever a situation requires me to talk about how I feel, most of the time I either
1. Say something completely different or
2. Not say anything at all
which is horribly dishonest to everyone, especially myself. And lying really isn’t something I like to do.
for all these reasons, I shall write more! hahaha 😀 This is probably also supported by the fact that I can’t update Facebook statuses any longer. And also the fact that everyone is microblogging / reblogging things from elsewhere. I miss reading long, wordy, personal posts, and perhaps there are still people out there who enjoy reading long, wordy, personal posts. 😉
Have a good night, and a wonderful day ahead of you.