So I have to admit that the previous title of this blog (“Let me give you a story to tell”) was probably one of the most misleading blog titles for the simple reason that I never quite told any stories (or anything else for that matter, but let that pass).
Therein lies the contradiction- I do have stories that I very much would like to share and tell, but I often subject whatever I think / write on this blog to so much self-criticism and judgment to the extent that either 1) nothing gets written or 2) whatever gets written is probably an extremely pretentious piece of writing. Something that I’ve been trying to do since the beginning of this year is to be more honest in the way that I think; and writing more honestly would probably greatly aid the effort (while you, dear reader, get the good end of the deal by getting to watch everything).
So today I’m going to tell you a story about storytelling- why I don’t really like telling stories, and what I’m trying to change.
Anyone who knows me personally probably knows that I’m rather talkative. When it comes to self-control (or my lack of it), my mouth is probably the part of my body which functions in absolutes. I either am 1) extremely reticent or 2) extremely talkative, depending on who I’m with and how drowsy / high I am. The problem with that is that when I’m in a talkative mood, I have an extremely high propensity to 1) exaggerate, 2) say something terribly inappropriate (Joel and Pauline can testify) or 3) reveal something private which I have no intention to reveal. Add all this on to the fact that I’m generally more critical of the stuff I write online (by virtue of it being public and less erasable) and you end up with a blog which has fewer words than a kid’s picture book.
I would like to write more, but the pixelated timer on the computer shows that if I don’t get myself off this computer within 4 minutes, I’ll have to pay an extra RM 2.50 to the bored-looking, grim-faced Chinese man at the counter (I’m at a cybercafe).
There is no way in hell that is happening. Till the next post. 😉