Currently finishing Joyce’s Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. Beginning parts were slightly draggy, but Father Arnall makes things a little better towards the middle with his inventiveness:
As the waters of baptism cleanse the soul with the body so do the fires of punishment torture the spirit with the flesh. Every sense of the flesh is tortured and every faculty of the soul therewith: the eyes with impenetrable utter darkness, the nose with noisome odours, the ears with yells and howls and execrations, the taste with foul matter, leprous corruption, nameless suffocating filth, the touch with redhot goads and spikes, with cruel tongues of flame. And through the several torments of the senses the immortal soul is tortured eternally in its very essence amid the league upon leagues of glowing fires kindled in the abyss by the offended majesty of the Omnipotent God and fanned into everlasting and ever increasing fury by the breath and anger of the Godhead.
This is preceded by another tasty bit of hyperbole-
O, how terrible it is the lot of these wretched beings! The blood seethes and boils in the veins, the brains are boiling in the skull, the heart in the breast glowing and bursting, the bowels like a redhot mass of burning pulp (Me: Hot diarrheoa? Ugh.), the tender eyes flaming like molten balls.
Father Arnall, in A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
And while we’re still on the topic of religion, here are the curious results of a recent Gallup poll. Looks like nonbelievers enjoy more worldly pleasures before they enter aforementioned unpleasant afterlife. Hmm.
(Click on the picture to see it in its entirety, my theme absolutely butchers photos)