I have come to realise that I’m not very good at asking for things, even things I really need (e.g money, help, favours). Upon some reflection and soul-gazing, I suspect this is a consequence of a number of beliefs:
- Believing that if someone truly cares and knows you, asking for help is unnecessary because they should understand your wants and needs without you having to communicate with them;
- Believing that asking for help less means that you are a strong, independent person;
- Believing that I do not deserve help;
- Believing that asking for help makes me a burden to the person from whom I request help;
- Being afraid that I will be rejected.
I don’t think these things are true anymore. Asking for help is granting the opportunity to someone else to feel valued, useful and connected. So it’s a win-win for everyone really!