Learning to ask

I have come to realise that I’m not very good at asking for things, even things I really need (e.g money, help, favours). Upon some reflection and soul-gazing, I suspect this is a consequence of a number of beliefs:

  • Believing that if someone truly cares and knows you, asking for help is unnecessary because they should understand your wants and needs without you having to communicate with them;
  • Believing that asking for help less means that you are a strong, independent person;
  • Believing that I do not deserve help;
  • Believing that asking for help makes me a burden to the person from whom I request help;
  • Being afraid that I will be rejected.

I don’t think these things are true anymore. Asking for help is granting the opportunity to someone else to feel valued, useful and connected. So it’s a win-win for everyone really!

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